(Before his famous speech at the university I sat down with the Minotaur and asked him some questions, topics that are not covered in his speech or his book “Minotaur Revisited”)
Can you tell us anything about your sex life?
The Minotaur stopped and stroked his chin for a few moments, he started to speak, stopped and then started again.
No one has ever asked me that before. I’ve not been one to kiss and tell and for the most part there is very little to tell. I was locked away in the Labyrinth at age twelve and spent endless years in solitude. Before the Labyrinth I suppose I was involved in a few childish pranks with the other palace boys. We would spy on the female servants as they bathed or occasionally cavorted with some of the royalty or guards, but I was locked away before I became aware of what sex was.
However, after my escape I made my way to Egypt and was declared Nev, god of the surf, when I emerged from the sea. Well, I was still a very young man at the time, at least when speaking about immortal beings, and I had all the normal appetites one would expect. And, as a god, I was a temptation to everyone. Those Egyptians took every opportunity to mingle with their deities.
They say Solomon had 700 wives and 300 hundred concubines in his life; I had that many in a month. They came to me in every size, shape and combination. I was young and foolish and, as a god, I didn’t think I should refuse any offers. Women came, men came, and some came that I wasn’t sure about. Everyone wanted a part of me.
Why were you so popular?
Part of it was that they thought I was a god, Nev, god of the surf. But, I think it was because of my tongue.
Did you say tongue?
Yes. Look at this tongue. (He stuck out his big, thick, but surprisingly dexterous tongue) they may have come to be with a god, but they came back to get more of this tongue. The tongue and my horns created lot of possibilities. They certainly didn’t come for any other anatomical parts, which are most decidedly human and far below average.
But, it was all meaningless. After the first few months I grew to hate it. Why? I think it was because not one of my many consorts truly cared. I think in that time I had enough sex for ten lifetimes. In and out, up and down, standing up, sitting down, this way and that, it all became so tiresome. So, I put a stop to it and spent my time on activities which were far more godly: righting wrongs, passing judgment, helping those who were less fortunate. By the time I left Egypt sex was a mere memory and it stayed that way for many, many, many years.
So you became celibate?
Well, sort of. I was turned off to humanity. But I did spend time among the cows, off and on. I guess it’s the bullish part of me that had this attraction for the Elsies. (I think Borden stole Elsie the cow from me.) The feeling however, was not mutual. Look at me. I’m human from the chest down. The Elsies are used to cavorting with stern, virile, amply endowed complete bulls, not a half human, less than average sized mutant. Even though I lived among cows for years, the Elsies never gave me the time of day and the true bulls treated me with nothing but contempt. Talk about sexual frustration.
Celibacy became my norm and I really didn’t mind. And then came Biz, my beloved wife. (His voice became more halting and tears formed in his eyes) She combined the best of everything. She was the wolf-girl in the circus I joined and it was love at first sight. She was beautiful, hairy, shapely, kind, intelligent and we had years of wedded bliss before she passed away. Our sex life was one of true love, which made it passionate and a million times better than all the thousands of encounters I’d had in Egypt.
Since she’s been gone I haven’t been with anyone else. The buffed, waxed, simonized women of today just don’t do anything for me. Give me a woman with some hair and maybe I’ll be interested. But, no one could ever replace my beloved Biz.
Maybe, I’m just getting old.
David will be awarding a $100 Amazon GC to a randomly drawn commenter at the conclusion of the two tours. leave a comment on his stops in the blog tour to be entered. The more comments you leave, the more chances you have of winning this great prize. The tour dates can be found here: http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/2012/12/virtual-book-tour-minotaur-revisited-by.html
Quint, the Minotaur tells his complete story in “Minotaur Revisited” now available at http://www.davidgelber.com, on Amazon, Barnes and Noble online and other online sites. Below is an excerpt:
Finally, we reached the summit and saw Moses sitting in the midst of the light, oblivious to our approach.
“Ahem… cough,” I grunted trying to make our presence known. Moses opened his eyes, scowled, and then smiled. He had aged, his hair was thin and white, and his previously olive-toned skin was now a deeper brown baked into a wrinkled leathery covering.
“Y-you shouldn’t be here,” he said in a halting voice. “This is a place for death.”
He wasn’t startled by my appearance until I moved closer. His eyes had grown weak over the years, but when he finally could see me more clearly, he stopped and shouted, “You! …you caused me so much grief, cost the lives of so many of my people! You deserve whatever God delivers.”
“It’s not right that you should be left here alone to die,” I observed.
“Alone? D-do you think I am alone here? L-Look… look around, this is a holy place, God is in this place. Why did you come here; what brought you here? I’m sure it wasn’t to stare at an old man on his deathbed. No, it was because you believed that God was here. I don’t know if you are man or beast; perhaps there is no difference. But it is the man in you that looked up and saw a chance, a chance most men cower from. A chance most men have been offered over and over again, but reject over and over and over again. I believe there is some hope for you, Minotaur. As for you, young maiden,” he said, moving closer to Atcha, studying her face, “you will become a great servant to Yahweh and one day will stand with Him in Paradise. Now, please, leave an old man in peace, but go with my blessing.”
He laid his hands on both of us and then turned away and sat down as he had been seated before, closed his eyes, and was enveloped by the light, which now grew brighter and brighter. We turned and started to walk away, down the south side of the mountain. As we descended we saw the Israelites crossing the Jordan River, which had stopped flowing and was divided, just as the great Red Sea had been divided forty years before.
Atcha watched them crossing and I could see that she longed to join them, to be part of that new nation that was to rise across the Jordan. I smiled at her and nodded my head towards that throng of humanity and bid her farewell, then I watched her run to the Israelites, confident in the words Moses had spoken, that she would be a great servant of their God. As for me, I felt out of place; I couldn’t join the Israelites nor would it have been proper for me to stay on that mountain.
I left Moses and all humans and became a recluse, living alone as I had done years ago, once again it was my choice. Memories of the Labyrinth remained and I hated any spaces that confined. I chose to live in the hills away from all men, traveling throughout the Promised Land, watching the people grow, love, fight, triumph, and fail.
Other parts of the “Conversation with the Minotaur can be read at http://heardintheor.blogspot.com
David Gelber, a New York native, is the seventh of nine sons and one of three to pursue medicine. He graduated from Johns Hopkins University in 1980 and went on to graduate medical school in 1984 from the University of Rochester.
He completed his residency at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, Texas, followed by three years as attending surgeon at Nassau County Medical Center in Long Island, N.Y. Gelber has since joined Coastal Surgical Group in Houston, Texas.
Gelber has been a surgeon for more than 20 years, but over the last few years he began to pursue his passion for writing, initially with his debut novel, “Future Hope” (Emerald Book Company, January 2010). The novel speculates about future Earth and what the world might have been like if man had not succumbed to temptation in the Garden of Eden. “Joshua and Aaron” is a sequel to “Future Hope” and follows the battle of wills that transpires between unsung hero Joshua Smith and satanic Aaron Diblonski.
Dr. Gelber has added two books about surgery, “Behind the Mask” and “Under the Drapes”, both of which provide the reader with a view of the world of surgery rarely seen by those outside the medical professions.
“Last Light” is an apocalyptic short story which starts off asking the question: “What would happen if nobody ever was sick or injured?”
“Minotaur Revisited” is an entertaining romp through history seen through the eyes of Quint, the famed half bull half man monster of Greek Mythology.
Gelber was raised in reformed Judaism, but joined the Presbyterian Church 15 years ago. He is married with three children, six dogs and a variety of birds. His interests include horse racing, mechanical Swiss watches and, of course, writing.