Lux Zakari’s Single, Cool and Fine: How to Get Laid as an Ex-Teen Idol
Gorgeous but awkward, talented but weird, James Venora is a twenty-seven-year-old struggling musician mired in the eternal stigma of having once been the stuff of Tiger Beat centerfolds. Getting married in his late teens also rendered him completely clueless when it comes to dating, a fact that comes to light when his wife surprises him with a request for a divorce. Now James has never felt the passage of time more strongly, and he decides to shirk his well-behaved habits and start wronging some rights. Unfortunately, he has no idea where to start.
Enter his brother Wade and his childhood friend E.Y.—both his biggest fans and biggest detractors. At their behest, James reads fan fiction written about himself to glean advice on how to live up to his potential—and instead discovers that what he wants most might be something he already has.
# # #
“Y’know, I have to say I never really got into your band,” Crystal confessed after her shift had ended, drawing patterns on the side of her sweating glass of gin and tonic. “I think I was too old for that kind of pop music when you guys came out.”
There was no way she was older than he was. What was she, all of twenty-four? That was only three years younger than he was. James took a sip of his Red Bell and shrugged, fighting a wave of annoyance. Crystal wasn’t the first to tell him how not into his music she was. Why did people think that was okay, to casually tell him how much they didn’t care for or even downright hated his life’s work, something he poured all of himself into? What was he even supposed to say to that?
Then he remembered E.Y.’s wisdom, how the James in the fan fiction always went for the least impressed chick. It set her apart from all the other fans, who’d scream and never have anything interesting to say. Her hostility and standoffish qualities would not be turnoffs but rather foreign, beautiful. It didn’t seem to make any sense to him. Where was the middle ground? Why did it have to be one extreme or the other?
Despite her disinterest in his reason for living, Crystal was pretty freaking hot. She looked exactly how someone with her name should look: in her mid-twenties, with light blond hair in choppy layers, pale blue eyes, porcelain skin, and a lithe, petite body with tits that belonged in a centerfold. James had to keep reminding himself not to stare but Jesus. He’d forgotten women could look like this. The thought churned in his gut. What had he been doing with his life? None of it seemed especially important in lieu of Crystal and the ripe sexuality wafting from her in waves. He could’ve been having girls like this for years. What was wrong with him?
James shook the disturbing, overwhelming possibilities from his mind. He could spend the night wracked with regret, or he could spend it with Crystal.
It was going to happen. It was just a matter of how and when. Admittedly, the guarantee of future bliss with a stranger was somewhat terrifying. It was so far out of his comfort zone, part of him just wanted to dart from the restaurant and return to the tour bus or the hotel room. But that had been the case for his entire life, and look where that had gotten him. He’d be crazy if he thought doing the same damn thing would warrant new results.
“No offense or anything,” Crystal added with a blush and put a hand on his arm, a warm unfamiliar touch that zipped straight to his cock. “I’ve just never been into pop music. I like the trippy psychedelia from the sixties and all that, like Jefferson Airplane and Donovan and Cream and stuff.”
James looked from her hand to her nervous, apologetic expression and back again, still saying nothing. He enjoyed making her squirm and hoped to find other, more interesting ways to do it. He caught sight of her nail polish. Red with white dots and topped with forest green. He also recalled what E.Y. said about taking note of the details, finding beauty in the weird. “Nice nails. Strawberries.”
Her blush intensified and she gave a smile and a nod. “Yep. I did them myself.”
“I like them.” James picked up his drink and took a swig.
Crystal raked her teeth over her bottom lip as her shy grin became wicked. “If you think they look good,” she said, “wait ‘til you feel them down your spine.”
At first he wasn’t sure he heard her right. Her words were a stun gun to the brain, and he choked on a mouthful of his Red Bull and coughed. He attempted to put the can back on the table but missed the edge of the table completely, and it clattered to the floor, leaving more than a few splashes on his suddenly tight pants.
She covered her mouth with those strawberry nails but was unable to mask her giggle. Her eyes met James’ and turned smoky with promise. “On that note, let’s get out of here.”
# # #
To purchase Single, Cool, and Fine: How to Get Laid as an Ex-Teen Idol, visit https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/160442.
To learn more about Lux Zakari, visit www.luxzakari.com.